“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” — Philippians 4:11
Sometimes I think we misunderstand contentment.
We hear the word content and imagine someone who has stopped wanting anything to change. She is satisfied with everything exactly as it is. She doesn’t strive for something better. She doesn’t ask for more. She simply accepts her circumstances.
Or maybe she has settled comfortably into a groove—only to discover that somewhere along the way, the groove became a rut.
But that sounds a lot more like complacency than contentment.
Paul certainly wasn’t complacent.
When Paul wrote that he had learned to be content, he was in prison. He wasn’t sitting somewhere comfortable with all of his needs met, philosophizing about contentment. Surely he would rather have been free.
And yet he wrote, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”
He explains what he means in the very next verse:
“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” — Philippians 4:12
Surely Paul preferred plenty to hunger. If someone had offered him dinner when he was hungry, I don’t imagine Paul saying, “No, thank you. I’m content.”
He would have eaten.
Contentment didn’t mean Paul no longer wanted food when he was hungry. It meant his joy did not depend upon having a full stomach.
That’s an important distinction.
Complacency says, “Nothing needs to change.”
Contentment says, “My joy does not depend on whether it changes.”
It’s Okay to Want Something Different
There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting our circumstances to change. We can want a better job and apply for one, want a struggling relationship to improve and work toward reconciliation, or want greater financial stability and make wise changes to get there. We can pursue new opportunities and bring all of those desires to God, asking Him to provide.
Contentment doesn’t require us to stop wanting, striving, growing, praying, or pursuing change. Paul certainly wasn’t complacent about his circumstances. He took action when action was appropriate. He made plans, traveled, worked, appealed to Caesar, and kept moving forward.
Biblical contentment is not passivity.
That distinction becomes especially important when circumstances are dangerous. Contentment should never be used as a reason to remain in an abusive or dangerous situation. If you or your children are in danger, seeking safety is not a failure to be content. Abuse should not simply be accepted as the circumstances God has given you. Get to safety, seek wise help, and involve the appropriate authorities when necessary.
Contentment does not mean refusing to change what can—and sometimes must—be changed. It means our peace and joy are not held hostage by the outcome.
The question isn’t necessarily, Do I want something different?
A better question might be:
Does my joy depend upon getting what I want?
When the Thing We Want Is Good
Sometimes what we want to change isn’t dangerous or wrong. It’s simply painful. This becomes much harder when what we want is not selfish or frivolous, but something genuinely good.
I’ve counseled several women struggling with infertility. They desperately wanted to become pregnant and hold their own babies in their arms. There is nothing wrong with that desire.
I would never tell a woman experiencing infertility that if she were simply more content, she wouldn’t want a baby so much. Contentment doesn’t make grief disappear or require us to pretend something doesn’t hurt. Nor does it mean we stop praying for God to change our circumstances. A woman can grieve, cry, pray for a child again and again, and pursue appropriate options for having a family while still learning contentment in the middle of that longing.
But there is still a question beneath all of those good and appropriate desires:
Can I trust God here, even if He does not give me what I desperately want?
That’s a much harder kind of contentment.
It says:
This is not what I wanted. I am asking God to change it. But I will not postpone trusting Him, enjoying the life He has given me, or thanking Him for His gifts until He gives me the thing I want.
And infertility is only one example. Maybe for you it’s marriage, finances, a job, a struggling relationship, your children’s choices, or an opportunity you’ve been waiting for. The circumstances are different, but the temptation can sound remarkably similar:
I’ll be happy when…
We can spend an enormous portion of our lives waiting for the circumstances that will finally give us permission to enjoy them.
But contentment says something different:
I can work toward a different tomorrow without refusing to live gratefully today.
Contentment Has to Be Learned
Maybe one of the most encouraging words in Philippians 4:11 is one we tend to skip right over: learned.
Paul said, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”
Apparently, contentment didn’t simply happen. Paul learned it—and look at the classroom God used to teach him: plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
Perhaps contentment isn’t something we finally achieve when God gets our circumstances arranged properly. Maybe our circumstances are some of the very tools God uses to teach us contentment.
Paul eventually tells us the secret:
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” — Philippians 4:13
That familiar verse isn’t primarily about accomplishing whatever goal we set for ourselves. In context, Paul is talking about having much or having little, being full or being hungry, living in abundance or living in need.
Christ strengthened him for either.
Grateful Today While Wanting Something Different Tomorrow
Paul gives another instruction:
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Notice that he doesn’t say to give thanks for every circumstance. He says to give thanks in them.
Gratitude redirects our attention from what we don’t have to what God has already entrusted to us. That doesn’t mean we stop asking, working, hoping, or even grieving when something hurts. It simply means we don’t have to stop living while we wait.
We don’t have to stop wanting tomorrow to be different in order to be grateful for what God has given us today.
Contentment doesn’t mean I stop asking God for something different. It means I stop requiring Him to give it to me before I trust that He is good.
I can want something deeply and still say:
God, I would love for You to change this. I will keep praying. I will do what I can. I will hope. But my peace is not dependent upon getting what I want.
You are enough for me here.
