Check the Filter

I was drying my hair when I noticed that my hair dryer seemed to be struggling.

It was running. It was making noise. But it wasn’t blowing very hard, and my hair was not cooperating.

Then I looked at the filter on the back.

Completely clogged.

Well. That would explain it.

I opened the filter compartment, sacrificed my toothbrush to the cause, and cleaned out the accumulated dirt and lint. Then I put everything back together and turned it on.

Huzzah!

The air flowed freely. I didn’t need a new hair dryer. I needed to pay attention to the one I had.

And somewhere between cleaning the filter and finishing my hair, I started thinking about my heart.

What Have I Allowed to Collect?

I want the fruit of the Spirit in my life. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Especially patience. And sometimes self-control.

But am I holding onto things that work against the very fruit I’m asking God to produce?

The Holy Spirit doesn’t lose His power. Yet Scripture tells us that we can grieve Him. And when Paul gives that warning in Ephesians 4:30, the next thing he addresses is bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander. He then calls believers to kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness.

That puts this uncomfortably close to everyday life.

Close to the resentment I’m still harboring.

Close to the irritation I’ve been feeding.

Close to the person I say I’ve forgiven, although I keep replaying the situation in my mind.

I hadn’t noticed everything collecting in my hair dryer’s filter. I noticed when it stopped working well.

Sometimes I notice my own impatience long before I’m willing to examine what I’ve been allowing to accumulate.

Does She Need to Know?

Someone says or does something that annoys me.

Now I have a decision to make.

Could I give her grace and move on? Could I allow for the possibility that she’s tired, distracted, or having a difficult day? Could I remember that I have probably annoyed a person or two myself?

Or do I need to tell her?

You did this. It annoyed me. And I want you to know.

Why?

That’s the question I need to ask myself.

Am I hoping to resolve a problem and strengthen the relationship? Or do I simply want her to feel bad because I felt bad?

There are wrongs we need to address. Forgiveness doesn’t eliminate the need for honest conversations or appropriate boundaries. But must every irritation create a confrontation?

Sometimes I can let it go.

Without a pointed remark.

Without recruiting someone else to agree with me.

Without filing it away for the next time she does something that bothers me.

Colossians 3:13 calls us to bear with one another and forgive as the Lord has forgiven us. Bearing with someone means there will be something to bear with. We will encounter habits, words, and decisions we wouldn’t choose ourselves.

We can still respond with love.

And I wonder how much room resentment takes up in a heart that is asking God for peace.

What About the Guilt I Keep Carrying?

Sometimes what I’m holding onto is my own failure.

Something I said. Something I did. Something I wish I could go back and handle differently.

I’ve confessed it to God. Perhaps I’ve apologized and done what I can to make it right.

But I keep picking it up again.

Remember when you did that? Who does that? What was I thinking?

First John 1:9 tells us that God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us when we confess them. Do I believe Him?

Enough to receive His forgiveness?

There may still be consequences to face or trust to rebuild. But repeatedly condemning myself doesn’t accomplish what Christ has already accomplished for me.

I can acknowledge my sin, accept His forgiveness, and take the next step in obedience.

I don’t have to keep punishing myself to prove I’m sorry.

A Little Heart Maintenance

Cleaning that filter required me to stop what I was doing, open it up, and deal with what I found.

There’s something there for me, too.

Before I ask God again for more patience, perhaps I need to get quiet enough to let Him show me the resentment I’ve been nursing.

Before I ask for peace, perhaps I need to surrender the argument I keep having in my head.

Before I rehearse an old failure one more time, perhaps I need to thank Him that He has forgiven me—and believe that His forgiveness is enough.

I can’t manufacture the fruit of the Spirit by giving myself a good cleaning. I need His grace to recognize what’s there, His help to surrender it, and His power to grow.

But I can stop defending the things He’s asking me to release.

My hair dryer gave me a fairly obvious clue that something needed attention.

Perhaps my impatience, sharp words, and carefully maintained grievances are clues worth noticing, too.

Lord, what have I allowed to collect?

Help me surrender what You show me.

And yes, I opened a new toothbrush.